Tag Archives: domestic violence

Journey of a black heart

Posted on by
Reply 
Journey of my heart
Cruel and toxic broken part
Black heart poison dart


My self inflicted trauma is become a deep dark relentless melancholy. I fall dizzyingly into omnipresent guilt. With you I became a madman without you nothing no one. 

Your pain my journey of meaninglessness. An ever increasing  blank space of loneliness my destination. I steadily fade from the light until I am no longer visible at all. My self destruction. 

I could not save myself even if I wanted to. I descend to my end. I spiral into a cycle of self loathing and misery. I am left ever alone in the company only of justifiable self contempt and vitriolic spite.  

My own worst enemy. Your worst enemy. Me. 

I will never recover from what I did to you. In my heart only jealousy. In my possessiveness only violence. A masquerade of love. 

My black heart to blind to see. A journey to your death was always a journey to my death.
Now willingly. 


Approaching my death
Is no natural cycle
I made this happen

A response to Frank’s d”Verse Haibun prompt “journeying”.

Fledglings of fear

Posted on by
Reply 
The dawning was a slow one
we were fledglings of fear
victims of illness,
Children of Lir

Number 1 was long strong.
Her job to protect.
Strong for a long while,
until proven imperfect.

Number 2 was a mess,
times hard as hard
for that little girl,
our fractured shard.

Number 3 was me.
Death to the fiddle!
Hate for love.
None in the middle.

Number 4 was Baby,
always our most precious.
Watching and suffering,
the indiscriminate malice.

Mother was mad
as mad could be.
Inside we knew,
outside, 
none could see.

House to school
school to house
all running scared
each quiet as a mouse.

Freezing bath water,
heads held down.
Gasping for breath.
No sound,
lest you drown.

Smothered in cereal, 
honey as glue,
naked on the floor
kicked black and blue.
 
We lost our only friend.
Older sister on the verge.
Took flight literally.
Our life and death dirge.

To young to know.
To young to do.
I first noticed the down
while cowering, we few.

Necks stealthily extended,
to get a better view
of punishment to come,
forewarned by cue.

Heads tucked under wings,
to avoid each other’s pain.
Our wings were getting stronger
unobserved by our bane.

Three remaining cygnets
together finding voice
seeking strength together,
a transformative choice.

Reddened eyes were normal,
the feathers came next.
Black, as our experience
lengthened our graceful necks.

Then came time to speak
with red bloodied beaks
making plaintive warning sounds
ugly ducklings began to sneak.

Eventually, we broke out of bounds,
braved an outside world,
the hurt, the rage, the hopelessness,
to unravel and unfurl

And when we told our story,
of years of abuse and neglect,
no one knew a thing
out of privacy respect.

Together we remain fragile.
Together we remain strong.
Together we mourn our sister.
Grief upon hope upon wrong upon wrong.


For Sinead O’Connor.


Strathbogie poetry #strathbogiepoetry