Logged in

There is a cut elm log
in the shade of a large ash tree
on which I like to sit out of the sun
from which I like to look out
or in at me

who am l? I ask
most reverently
then discussion ensues
determinedly

I pause to think
on the answers I hear
I pause and reflect
on what comes to bear

with my elbows placed
gently
upon my knees
I balance my chin
while I shoot the breeze

in memory I keep
a record of my thoughts
from under the tree
where ideas are caught

my log from a log
stores in signs and degrees
while I sit in the shade
shooting the breeze

Expectations

If you can’t find the key …..

My view of the world is not an honest view because my expectations interfere. My ego inserts itself into every unconscious and conscious perspective. I create altered realities for bending the world I see toward addressing my wants. This constant aspiration engenders a manipulative restlessness within my persona. I look, see, expect and act accordingly, never finding the time or mental resilience to resist. Never engaging with the appreciation of a moment or the truth of where I am.

The more I understand this, the more I seek to stop, observe, contemplate and appreciate. I try to place myself differently in the world, as within rather than without, as an internal part rather than an external entity, as influenced rather than influencer. I think this practice is helping.