My name is loss I come to you when all you have had is crumbling when all you have given is riven with me loss is humbling
my name is grief and I bear the pain of loss when you are humbled beyond belief when you thought you would be always proud and strong I am here to tell you that you were wrong
my name is relief when comes a day you realise that grief will eventually deliver a clearway a freedom from regret at losing what you had gained losses your mind held and retained these burdens your cross until you find you can accept loss
my name is acceptance where past material possessions and anxieties prove hollow where a hopeful path is a worthy path to follow where reflective plans present themselves as many possible futures where eventual understanding of loss the future nurtures and our transient presence can still be an enriching presence a new time we have in which to live to love enjoy feel touch smell hear see and give
I will go and get a pillow with a flannelette slip I will nestle in my big armchair lying on my hip I will stretch out my legs toward the soft topped footstool I will place the warm pillow on an armrest before lying out in full I will lay my head down with a lap blanket across my knees with handkerchieves at ready for mopping drool each wet cough and sneeze I will keep the temperature from the column heater constant at around 20 degrees I will take the symbicort regularly and salbutamol as necessary to relieve every newly occurring wheeze I will try to keep my fluids up though walking to the kitchen breaks my morbid reverie a bottle of water by my side is good for sips but not as satisfying as hot green tea I will remove my glasses from my eyes because everything I see becomes bleary blurs I will close my eyes to beautiful music to distract me from headaches shivers and joint pains that ail me like a curse and if the sleep I seek does come I will for a while be at peace for only good sleep refreshes and revitalises a weary body when little else gives relief
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