I sobbed while I banged my head on the dock
I lit the fuse tick tock tick rock
With nowhere to go I ran amok
because I knew no one gave a fuck
and my children died inside the conflagration
while outside I died as a witness stationed
to watch this act as the ultimate martyr
from lover to mother to miserable failure
now my babies don’t suffer anymore don’t you see?
their loss was my hope for my babies three
their release from torment my relief and my grief
I their life giver corrupter and thief
I scratched at the doors where help is the word
I pleaded for help and not one cry was heard
I make no further excuses for this desperate crime
judge me oh judge me and I’ll do my time
but I urge you who judge to stop and reflect
on the festering harm of abuse and neglect
on how absence of care equals opportunity cost
from pitiful existence my babies were lost
Tag Archives: Poetry
As dry as the land
Night’s last lingering cool breath
Marks the beginning of the end
As we rouse and arouse
Sleepily rising and realising
This cannot, must not, ever happen again
Bidding farewell to the events of the dark
With butterfly kisses and nuzzles
Tears of grief dwell, well and fall
As we own everything and commit to nothing more
For the first time, the last time we lie together
We listen in silence as another day’s hot outback wind
Begins to worry the doors and windows
And again rattle at the foundations of our lives
It’s the same drought wind that has been blowing forever
Forever keeping us apart no matter how much we lean into it
It keeps blowing us backwards to where we came from
It marks our passing back into life as it really is
Demanding and obligating with survival at its core
As dry as the land, as gritty as the sand
Bruised
I’m feeling a little bruised
a little rushed a little used
when you turn your whip like tongue on me
a little crushed and very confused
when you say that I’m not worth it
yet you keep on coming back
I decide that I’ll stick with it
and then you call me slack
yes I’m a sucker for punishment
my friends all tell me that
but really I’m a sucker for nourishment
I pray for it after every spat
I hate you and I love you
I tell you and relent
then you diss me and you kiss me
never knowing what each one meant
you don’t hit me or spit on me
you don’t go out with another
you just discard me like a soiled rag
whenever you think I’m a bother
then you take me back when it suits
knowing you'll always have the boots
to stand over me til I breakdown
to abuse me when I meltdown
I crave to be better, yet I'm a weak nag
always with one hand reaching for an escape bag
but I turn back from every open door
I pathetically keep coming back for more
then as I slide down every jamb
lamb to slaughter, slaughtered lamb
self esteem slides with me, to the floor we sag
and I gag and I gag and I gag
I see myself for what I have become
I know I'm not the only one
It isn't something helpful to know
others also powerless if they stay, powerless to go
My first American sentence
Deep, deep in the forest where man is not known there is no good or bad.
- One line
- Seventeen syllables
- Condensed, no unnecessary words or articles
- Includes a turn or enlightenment
Thank you David Ben Alexander (and Allen Ginsberg) for alerting me to new forms of haiku.
Mary’s haiku
to eternity heartbeat of the haunted self ghost of broken trust
blaze
slow anger infiltrates expands like smoke explodes into furious rage scorches and burns all it touches then dissolves into shame and misery
heart beats weep
picture eternity as every single heart beat of every haunted soul each a phantom of broken trust blind to yesterday yet still weeping ghostly desires always lingering cold and deep persisting and never embraced
blush
blush from the belly up smile with sincerity you will create trust speak from your heart truly with transparency you will enjoy respect abandon preconceptions listen to hear you will bring joy
Colours of the seasons
My colour was autumn in a fading colour kind of way as I scrambled for more time as time slipped away then my colour was winter cold bleak and grey the shortening of daylight gave more night than day when my colour was spring and more light filled the air I felt for a green time my happiness was there but my colour became summer coming in bright yellow hues til the landscapes went dry sun extracted summer dues now my colour is a rainbow arching over seasons casting no shadow coloured joy without reason
Spicing it up
Basil had finally arrived in Arizona dreaming of repeating Krakow nights with his saffron love, Garam Masala. After leaving sunny Paris they had spent thyme watching Tuscan sunsets before mulling spices into a mural of flavour for adding some Aleppo pepper to their long awaited reunion. Laced with dill, pickled appetisers set a savouring mood for their evening Cumin, coriander paprika zatar and mustard seeds ensured the main meal was saucy, spicy and hot. Sea salt, lemon grass fennel and sesame seeds added potentcy to the salad Nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla heightened their senses throughout dessert. By the end of the meal they were ravenous for the after dinner mints.
Merril set this week’s dVerse prompt for we poets to spice things up using at least three of twenty-five listed herbs, spices, flavors, and spice combinations. For a bit of fun, I chose to cook up something that used them all.
blue you blue hue
blue poetry as blue as you change the shade from deep dark blue to blue sky blue change the hue write your due write true (fridge poetry)
Any door every door

Today’s dVerse prompt was to undertake a very interesting ekphrastic challenge from Sarah. Sarah asked we dVerse poets to choose one of five fascinating images created by UK artiist Lee Madgwick . I chose the image displayed above.
How many times do you step through a door and that decision changes the course of your life? How many times? You step through a door and whether you know which way you are going or not that decision changes the course of your life. Many times. You look through open doors and glass doors and the view beyond each threshold can look better much better with broad vistas of more promise than the narrow one in which you are standing. You are a stand in many, some days, every time. How many times do you go through these doors to where the grass is greener? Many times. You look through closed doors, opaque, the cracks and keyholes of doors to wild skies of threatening, black clouds, heavy and threatening cloud banks of stormy weather oppressive and threatening with worse to come you know it will be worse for at least a time many, some days, every time. But still, consider. How many times do you go through these doors? Many times. How do you choose which door opens to the best passage for the rest of your life? The green of desire or of envy, the passing black of fear or courage? There are no obvious silver linings. The lines are not clear. Can you say your lines? Your lines are not clear. There are no obvious wishes to guide you. Your wishes are not clear. Can you articulate your wishes? When will you wish honesty for yourself? When honesty is a necessity? Don’t close that door. When is the right time? Or the right place? Or do you bother to choose at all? When the right door opens for you? Even when no choice is always a choice and change will come regardless. Change will come. You know this. Do you know this well enough by understanding there is only luck at play? Only luck is at play. Do you know this? You might not know this. How often do those doors that are closed to you and blank with no offerings get ignored because there is no obvious gain for you? You walk past new worlds of wonder and peril everyday. All the time. Any door every door any time every time. Every step is a decision. Every decision is one to please, regret, grieve or rejoice. At the time or in time. But, you never know and that is the reason for looking at doors any door and every door and always wondering about going through into some place else. It should never be otherwise because time is linear and time is limited. All doors are only one door any door every door in front of you when and where ever you are. And each door has its own nature protecting you from the elements or exposing you locking you in locking you out shutting quietly behind you slamming in your face creaking with foreboding or letting in the fresh air. You my be attracted by doors to the light. It seeps in around the edges and under the woodwork and you think to be in the light must be a good place to be, you cross that threshold. That threshold will be crossed. to find a good place to be, And sometimes it is a desert, a blazing sun, a hot, dry furnace and you retreat desperate with thirst, burned and changed. Other times it is a moonlit field and you run through the soft green grass before realising you have strayed enough to never return to be the same person. Does either door scare you? Are you scared? Hope is the latch, fear is the key. Finding a way to use them is finding a way to be. You never have to stray far from yourself to change. Crossing that threshold is no distance at all. One that can take you al long way. Crossing that threshold. You are changed forever every time. Many times. Any door every door any time every time go through. You change so the world changes You change me and everyone else irrevocably. You change us all. All of us change. Neither you nor I, neither will we and us ever be the same we, you and I. For passing through any door every time will change us here and now in time. The person you thought I was is no longer mine. The person I thought was you is no longer in time. The world changes instantly every time without design. We pass through many doors many times. How many times do you step through a door and that decision changes the course of your life? How many times? You step through a door and whether you know which way you are going or not that decision changes the course of your life. Many times.
worry
worry, but after perhaps find the right music do a dance (fridge poetry)
Storm wind
Such a turbulent, pitiless, brutal battering. This powerful storm wind pushes relentlessly through the defenceless trees of the creek. It lashes most at the isolated and vulnerable, stripping them bare of grey green winter cloaks, whipping the fabric of canopies to ragged threads, blasting layers of protective cladding away into a roaring tempest. This scouring wind probes incessantly for weakness, fissures in the gnarly bark skins, cracks in the very bones of each noble specimen mercilessly exposing deficiencies as it flails and lays bare its victims with neither remorse nor respite. Over extended over and over, flawed limbs fail first fracture, snap and drop. Crowns too heavy with water shake and quiver. Sodden feet lose their grip on the world. Once stately trunks twist, rock, waver, shudder and fall. And the sound of the final defeat is an explosive crack, the collapse a mighty crash, and the thud at the end is dead.
For today’s dVerse poetics Sarah prompted us to think and write about the elements. I chose air/wind because I often find myself contemplating the fierceness of a storm’s breath as it can turn the tranquility of our peaceful riparian zone into a deadly maelstrom.
vicissitudes of life
From birth through growth to the time of decline From decline to decay such a time is mine For all that went before for all that went astray For all that has been given and will be taken away I see many patterns unfold around my life with the wisdom of hindsight I see the brightness of knowing through latter years insight As the past stretches out behind me the future road becomes short The decisions I have made will shortly come to nought I take one last chance to pass on the learning of my years One last chance to give advice to those to come if those to come have ears For history is our greatest teacher in handling the vicissitudes of life For human nature is our undoing when handling the inconvenient truths of advice Secure your future with love and enough wealth is the best advice I can give Working to this end gives hope which gives purpose to how you live Start early and start young to earn a path to joy and be your very best Don’t deviate from this path but keep it flexible and ensure rest Loss may strike you without notice grief may rock your solid floor Grow from your loss for better to turn haunting to past lore Change will come unanticipated and shake you to your core See change as opportunity to put a foot firmly in each door When love comes your way hold it closely to your heart If love lost should leave you reeling be proud that you took part Know you have been loved and can love again because love is all around If one thing is known it is we all want love with time it may be found
Anytime
Anytime a poem is needed
A poem can be found
Just look into your heart
Just look all around
It all started at the restaurant
I sat Table set Her late for date She came Soup came Talk flamed Soup good Entree She said Problem lies in bed Main meal She reveals I’m heel Big deal Drinks round Table pound Curse slur From her For desert Her hurt Expressed curt Wants shirt Stands up Stamps out What’s all this about? I know I’m great Super man Super mate Get home Her stuff All gone Enough’s enough I call Mobile phone No answer She’s done Oh oh Really gone? This time I’m alone Misery me Don’t deserve This treatment What nerve!
the natural state
Victoria is a beautiful state big as the United Kingdom, but in Australia rates as quite small. If you travel in any direction from capital city Melbourne there is pleasure and inspiration in visiting the natural world. 1/2 hour short distances, 8 hour long distances, extremes of snow or desert, amazing bushland instances. Every place I choose to go provides a kind of joy. No two places ever show the same kinds of joy though. But also losses are mounting. I see it in most places now. Degradation is a haunting. Yet to fix it we know how. Let’s do something about re-wilding as Attenborough says we should. Let’s stop the carping and the chiding and talk about how we all could.
Written for the W3 on The Skeptic’s Kaddish Britta prompted for a poem that included the name of a city, town or village.
Ronovan haiku challenge 422
rolling with punches unsteady planet wounded smelling salts needed
Translucence
She was translucent in that you could see her much as you could see anyone else in the reflected light of the sun. But even more so because that very light, the light of the sun, seemed to penetrate her flawless fair skin as if the silky smooth surface was entirely opaque. It gave her a subtle inner incandescence, slightly phosphorescent with those self emitting hints of blues and greens that warmly peaked in her eyes and the waves of cascading hair. Her teeth showed it gently sparkling through in a radiant white smile, as did her fingernails and earlobes adorning hands and face with beckoning ripples of a delicate halo. Also, it appeared to come out the other side of her as a a soft white aura. One that flowed behind her like a short comet tail. Present, but never quite seen. Gently wavering before your eyes fully caught on. A ripple across space. In such a way you knew of its definitive presence despite its elusiveness. Everyone wanted to know her. Absolutely, and me more than most. She gave me a feeling of desperate hunger - for what I could never be quite sure. It felt like I could be satisfied with just ..... a look from those penetrating eyes, a touch with those sensuous long fingers, any form of acknowledgement. However, I also recognised unreality when I saw it. In reality I wanted everything she would never give and that scared the shit out of me. For a long time I had longed for her from afar. Drained of other interests, preoccupied with dreams of passionate love and warm companionship. Yet whenever I got close I found I had only a faded shadow of myself to offer. Dulled. Stultified by her imposing mien. Standing in a dark space she exuded a glowing presence. Her very own unique light. Standing in a light space she somehow overcame the ambient lux with her very own lustre. She could not be unseen. So, I watched from a distance instead. The best thing I could ever have done as I saw one friend, champion, lover, partner, suitor and sycophant after another get irreparably burned. Scorched to the point of disfigurement by a desirable body and a vital heart, a quick brain and a ruthless mind, an unsolvable enigma beyond anybody’s ken. Eventually, I understood that for all the attraction of that internally lit, beautiful, vibrant, illuminated woman, her translucence meant no matter how close you got, no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you applied - I and no one else could or would ever see into her, just right through to the other side. This was an infatuation I would survive, but even today, years later, the mystery, the hope, the longing, the anticipation and speculation have never fully subsided.
Dead Calm
The dead are calm for a while In complete stillness immediately after death Whether lying at rest or contorted in pain at that last moment Matters not The dead are calm As they anticipate the gathering of themselves for the final stage When the very very last tiny surge of remaining energy is harnessed Every wisp of spirit every tendril of soul every puff of being has to be marshalled together from all the distant peripheries Centralised into a quiet holding pattern Somewhere deep within the dead heart And stilled This is necessary to ensure nothing is missed Not a dream, not a belief, not a skerrick of moral fibre not an essence of being It all has to be there In one place quieted settled and at peace Before the final ascent Where a last breath of essence is expired into the void Up through the chest Into the nose and mouth And outward to mix with the other floating souls That make up the ethereal worlds around us That quiet calm puff of elemental existence Dissipates into nonentity As a becoming of everything once more It serves the purpose of unity Without serving any purpose at all
something in the water
immersed in water
luxuriously suspended in space
cut off from the entire breathing human race
reflecting on water
so much to consider
when water as commodity goes to the highest bidder
tumbling in water
battered by an abused life giving sea
will i survive this wave crunching of me?
drinking any water
found on a scorching day
too many of these are making the earth pay
freezing in water
a break in the ice
i pull myself up, but just fall in twice
drawing down water
bought for the farm
having to buy water represents harm
a well full of water
a sense of security
an empty well brings fear to my family
river bed water
evaporates into the air
when will i see it again? i can’t up there
everywhere water
after drought comes flooding rain
our homes went under last year, then again and again
methane in the water
turn the tap and it burns
fracking structural layers causes geological churn
water suspension
plastic on every scale
next on the weather agenda - plastic hail
toxic water
neutralises fishing skills
no good fisherman can live on massive fish kills
ocean water
systems anchor for the world
danger warning flags ignored although they’ve been unfurled
wars over water
beginning and the end
is your water consuming neighbour enemy or friend?
drowning in water issues
battling exhaustion
this marks the end of my allocated portion
My first attempt at responding to David’s W3 where PoW Sylvia Cognac’s prompt is “water”
I always try not to
I missed you from the many everyday and milestone events in the life of a child and mother’s son
Although I always tried not too
The other deaths in the family to come
I always tried to avoid them as well
The ailments, injuries and recoveries
The aspirations, failures and victories
The exploration of new learnings
The celebrating of new skills
The sharing of self discovery
The chore taught domestic fundamentals
The sharing of hopes and sadnesses
The soundings decision sharing
The turmoil of adolescence
The breakdown of family
The need to talk when there was no one at home
The anonymous housekeepers who worked on their own
The living with grandparents who couldn’t understand
The attempts to erase your death
The problems and joys of schoolboy life
The holidays in your absence
The welcoming of new friends and girlfriends to our empty home
The experimentation
The wonder of a loving wife who might have been your friend
The graduations and award ceremonies
The choices about where and how to live
The arrival of children you would never know and who would never know you
The financial advice and life counselling
The support during child raising
The new jobs and directions
The sadnesses and hopes
The welcoming of our children's partners
The arrival of grandchildren
The transition to retirement
All the things we could have enjoyed together, but never got the chance
I missed you in all these times
And every now and then I still do
Although I always try not too
August
the long grass dead brown
the short grass stunted green
faded blue skies
with no summer bright sheen
grey come the clouds
hanging low overhead
heavy with moisture
that will drop like lead
the air has a bite
bitter snaps each night
and each day frosted crisp
icy as any day has been
the cold sodden earth
awaits its rebirth
fresh food supplies
border on lean
as breath mists the air
those rugged up don't care
but the strugglers
blanch at the scene
winter cold eats budgets
of those who can’t afford it
where constant warmth
is but a seasonal dream
homeless under bridges
in doorways and niches
families living in cars
huddle away unseen
as others drive over bridges
secure in their riches
to homes warm inner glow
where no want has been
The dVerse prompt today came from Sanaa. She asked we poets to recognise August. We in the southern hemisphere may see it in a different seasonal light to that which Sanaa had in mind. However, one sad thing we do have in common around the world is the widening gap between the haves and have nots.
Fooled
I saw a creature in long shaded grass
Apparently brown and moving fast
It turned and twisted while trying to pass
Through slender grain of yellow cast
I looked some time at its bobbing head
At its swinging tail strange pointed red
The smooth curved back came round again
Fluidly rodent it looked up at me then
To my surprise it turned out to be
Not a snake or rodent looking at me
But of avian descent with full head to see
A juvenile rosella stared knowingly
Who’d have thought such bright disguise
Could cloud the vision of observer eyes
On the ground coloured plumage denied
Flashy brilliance so vivid in the sky