Shifting hills and surface crazed

I lost myself amongst the scarlet sage
in the peaks and valleys of the Dancing Range
where the red earth is cracked with heat and age
where the hills themselves whirl in fiery rage

where my love bewitched by a tyrant mage
was broken, his desire to assuage
I hunted them daily in this moving maze
of shifting hills and surface crazed

every dawn the landscape rearranged
to bewilder the hunter until deranged
to trap me in this rolling cage
of shifting hills and surface crazed

of endless paths endlessly paved
reaching only the ends of this mage depraved
I searched shapeless valleys I scoured the peaks
climbing and descending weeks and weeks

his lair it seemed I could not find
until I had a change of mind
was this real where hills could rise
where valleys could twist before my eyes?

was I confused by spell or malign charm
was it my brain doing much of the harm
could I separate my thoughts from my pain
logically concentrate to search again?

I sat a day to plan my way
to find a new route to my prey
a map I would make to display
a grid of my searching every day

the shifting landscape I would ignore
only compass and distance would I score
disoriented I would be no more
I would come upon mage's door

for three days I laboured under blazing sun
everything turned but I was not spun
I found what I wanted I knew I had won
a door in a hillside that must be the one

I steeled my nerves and I drew my sword
I gritted my teeth and charged the door
it shattered as inside I bore
shocking the mage to his very core

taking full advantage of his acute surprise
I smote him between his evil eyes
and so the tyrant mage fell and died
as behind him the love of my life I spied

we fell into each others arms
the death of the mage broke the wicked charm
on my tears of relief she was free from harm
shifting hills and valleys were at once becalmed

Melissa introduced we poets to artist Alma Thomas for this week’s dVerse prompt. We were charged with choosing one of her paintings and writing what the work evoked for each of us.

Sleep

Sleep baby sleep
my tears of joy come
watching over you I weep
my precious dependent one

and when you’re older
I will seek
to be your friend
when independence distances you
from the parent who will love you
til the end

sleep baby sleep
I know we will part
but this part of me
will always be
your piece of my heart

Evening

At evening when the sunsets vary
when the birds settle in roosts far and wide
when the lowing cattle lie down to cud
I reflect on days toil and try to decide
will I stay on here with Mary
will we try another place far away
will it change anything really?
or is it just another run and hide
no loss can transport you to such misery
no grief can claim you so deep inside
like the death of the most precious to you
the loss of a loved first born child

Cherub

Rest easy little cherub 
now day’s busy work is done
and weary tiredness overtakes you
at time of setting sun

when angelic peace comes at last
to your adored and relaxed face
your long soft lashes upon your cheeks
a picture of beauty of grace

as your breathing calms and settles
to the rhythmic patterns of sleep
your flickering eyes and twitching hands
tell of happy dreams so deep

what is it you dream of?
repeating the days play?
of parents love, of sister?
good things only I dare say

sleep calm and in comfort
your next best day yet to come
your time at rest is precious
my small and lovely one

it’s the same for mum and dad
the quiet of the night
is also the time for peacefulness
and short time of respite

before another day of fun begins
of looking, touch, smell and taste
of learning from tears and joy
no exploration gone to waste

so wake up at days dawning
brighten up the skies
play away the morning
give more pleasure to our lives

Vehicle

who are you a vehicle for
who is it you pick up and return to their door
who asks you to do things then asks the score
who takes but never gives more
who do you wait on while you self deplore
what is it you are waiting for?

Susurration

As we walk darkening late afternoon brown and empty park laneways 
before the real cold of winter sets in
I hear the quiet susurration of fallen autumn leaves
as they are gently brushed by a murmuring breeze
the soft attentive voices of an anticipatory audience lining our path
sharing the intimate whisperings of love between you and me

Kiss

A poem for my daughter. I wish her love to last a lifetime.
That fist kiss
I dallied on your lips
I felt my head spin
a light and dreamy
state i was in
your breath was sweet
your tongue sweet too
your lips smooth and soft
like the rest of you
your hair on my cheeks
the sensation tantalising
your hands in my hair
encouraging and inviting
that first kiss told me everything
hearts really can sing

Locket

I live in that locket
with you I’ll always be
a flower in that metal pocket
so you can always see
your lover at your breast
that lover always me
you wear upon your chest
your flower my honey bee
my image and lock of hair
to be there for evermore
so you my love take care
to continue to adore

River

I’ll ride the river to your door 
strong and silent I will come to you
I’ll wind my way from where I was lost
the river will deliver and save me too
and when becalmed by your charms
once again after all this time
I’ll float leisurely then outstrectch my arms
to again touch the flows that sooth me
I’ll let the gentle eddies turn me around
my turbulence washed away
I’ll settle on the sandy riverbank
with you forever and a day

Hurt

God it hurts 
to see you like this
weak and in pain
in so much distress

god it hurts
to feel you so thin
to feel your bones
where there should be fat skin

god it hurts
to wipe your pale face
to touch your cold hands
to massage your aches

god it hurts
to feed you my love
to nurse and relieve you
in plastic gloves

god it hurts
to bathe you each day
to wash your soiled body
no, I won’t go away

god it hurts
to roll you over
your strength is gone
you, my past lover

god it hurts
to see you waste
your senses fading
losing smell and taste

god it hurts
to sit by your bed
as this sickness progresses
it fills me with dread

god it hurts
to hear what you said
in your delerium
it hurts so bad

god it hurts
when you get pressure sores
you no longer move
can you take anymore?

god it hurts
when the pain relief fails
when you grimace and seize
wracked frame so frail

god it hurts
but not how it hurts you
I wish I could do more
to help you get through

god it hurts
when you don’t talk back
your eyes are dull
your jaw is slack

god it hurts
to watch your last breaths
to see your life leave us
replaced by death

god it hurts
holding you dead
your skeletal frame
with me alone on the bed

god it hurts
to kiss you good bye
on your dry cracked blue lips
last kiss, last cry?

Lover’s leap

L is for love’s early phase, all hot and bothered
all fractious, disruptive restless, in doubt

E is for eliciting confirmation from others
who tell you it’s real, dubious or not

A is for arrow straight through the heart
the pain of the piercing love’s peculiar stress

P is for pain-free when new love departs
established and certain is when love is best

This week Lisa appropriately asked we dVerse poets to use the leap year as a prompt. https://dversepoets.com/2024/02/27/dverse-poetics-tuesday-2024-poets-leaping/

Life as a vacuum

 
Within my mind within my soul
There lies an ever expanding hole
When I try to grasp its meaning
Elusive thoughts distract my gleaning
 
Where I see a thing to do
There I lose it to something new
When I return to get more done
I find I achieved exactly none
 
I often don’t quite know who I am
Retired, a child or a working man
I sometimes see the past and future
It’s the present I struggle to nurture
 
I hear the talk around me go
When I talk I don’t always know
What I am saying to others there
I feel anxious as they look and stare
 
I lose things now so easily
I dismiss the losses breezily
With timid laughter I brush them off
Truth is I cannot understand the loss
 
I get confused and in a muddle
I no longer accomplish what was a doddle
Faces of loved ones I’m unsure of now
To answer a question I fail at how
 
I’m sure I should be I’m not quite here
There is this woman but who is “my dear”
I live with remembering uncertain fear
I forget to remember anything I hear
I want to go somewhere but the way is unclear
Why I should go there I have no idea
Is this life or farce it is certainly queer
I’m turned inside out my front is rear
No reason for existence yet death’s not near
No insight no knowledge yet I still shed a tear
Life is a vacuum into which I can’t peer

The truck

Pic: Michael Taylor
Down upon him the big rogue truck bore
Last thoughts were of those he adored
of her and those eyes so deep and brown
he fell in love with those eyes one night on the town
of the lithe girl in the backyard playing with cars
of the teenage boy inside playing his guitars
of the home he loved for its warmth and welcome
whenever he arrived back from long hauls and then some
there was the dog with tail wagging
as she greeted him excitedly
and the chooks out the back he greeted politely
what would become of his family and home
how could he leave them to fend on their own?
then the truck veered wildly missed by an inch
so close, so close no time to flinch
he shook with shock he shook with fear
he looked at his life and all he held dear
he knew what to do right away
the way ahead was clear

True love

When I took your hand
much smaller hand
much softer hand
much braver hand

when you took my hand
much larger hand
much harder hand
much lonelier hand

we readied two individuals
for joint lives
never known
alone

We took on each life
hard life
sad life
brave life

we rescued each other
one became both
more than both
more than we
imagined

we shone
we continue to shine
we sparkled
we spark in ways divine
we learnt about love
we learned to love it is sublime

true love

We can dance

We can dance
And lose ourselves in a moment
Because that is what dancing is for

We can sway
Holding each other tightly
To confirm our love once more

We can be melody
As music inhabits us
We let our emotions go

We can swing
Together to a rhythm
Fierce, suggestive, gentle, slow

We can slink
Sexy, sultry, driven
Gliding across a floor

We can rhumba
To a beat of pure, rollicking fun
Then breathless, cry for more

We can jig
Jumping, clapping, heel toe
Folding, peeling struts our stuff

We can rock
Big, bold and beautiful
Freestyle is enough

We can ballet
Oh glorious presence
Beauty and grace refined

We can improvise
On a living room floor
Every style combined 

We can watch
Absorbed in the majesty of human flight
Awash with the joy of life

And you my love
Can dance with me
Dance with me my wife

So, dance with me my partner
Hold me in your arms
And look into my eyes so deeply
You free me from all harm

We can dance

This week dVerse poetics is from Mish, about dance and dance we will. https://dversepoets.com/2024/01/30/poetics-may-i-have-this-dance/

For a long time now

 
For a long time now
My love and I go walking
As we walk
We find the time for talking

For a long time now
My love and I sit silently
As we sit
Our love strengthens quietly

Growing old together

Growing old together, our life has indeed got better.
As our bodies steadily decline, get sensitive to the weather.
We find our ways to appreciate the world in which we live,
we try to do some good things, together we try to give.

Our children look as happy, as we can hope they might be.
Our grandchildren delight, us with growth and learning daily.
Our homes are all comfortable, if certainly nothing flash.
We make some time for entertainment and culture, when we have the cash.

Our love is as joyful as ever it was, I hope you will agree,
we take each day on its merits as I grow old with thee.
With hugs to start each day and then to say good night,
there’s something still going on between us, certainly something right.

I still pinch myself when we’re together, to make sure I’m not dreaming.
I don’t wake up because it’s real, no fantasy of dreams and seeming.
We look forward to time together, look after each other, give each other time and space.
A recipe for enduring success, not one you can replace.

Your kisses still sweet, your touch still electric, there’s still more for us to look forward too.
For our remaining time, while I’m still yours and you’re still mine, everything is fine.

Holy

 
 They told me I was holy
 I believed them
 Everything changed from there
 I knew what to say and how to say it
 I knew where to go and who to speak too
 And my messages of love served me well
 as I travelled the world gathering souls
  
 At first I thought I was on a mission
 Then the mission became a privilege
 I could bring light into the darkness 
 Lift the blanket of shadow over the world 
 Simply by saying the word
 Simply by telling everyone 
 what they already knew 
 Regardless of their inability to act
  
 I told them
 for a better world
 they must overcome self interest
  
 Then I saw the truth 
 How important my own self interest 
 had become
 If I was to be able to continue 
 doing such good and noble work
 love was the word
 and they loved me 
 while I loved adulation
 
 Prayer was empowerment
 They prayed, I played
 It was a perfect match 
 of preacher and congregation 
 Idolatry, narcissism and hedonism
  
 The spiritual demands of today’s society 
 thereby being well met
  
   

I did it for my babies

I sobbed while I banged my head on the dock
I lit the fuse tick tock tick rock
With nowhere to go I ran amok
because I knew no one gave a fuck

and my children died inside the conflagration
while outside I died as a witness stationed
to watch this act as the ultimate martyr
from lover to mother to miserable failure

now my babies don’t suffer anymore don’t you see?
their loss was my hope for my babies three
their release from torment my relief and my grief
I their life giver corrupter and thief

I scratched at the doors where help is the word
I pleaded for help and not one cry was heard
I make no further excuses for this desperate crime
judge me oh judge me and I’ll do my time

but I urge you who judge to stop and reflect
on the festering harm of abuse and neglect
on how absence of care equals opportunity cost
from pitiful existence my babies were lost


As dry as the land

Night’s last lingering cool breath
Marks the beginning of the end
As we rouse and arouse
Sleepily rising and realising
This cannot, must not, ever happen again

Bidding farewell to the events of the dark
With butterfly kisses and nuzzles
Tears of grief dwell, well and fall
As we own everything and commit to nothing more

For the first time, the last time we lie together
We listen in silence as another day’s hot outback wind
Begins to worry the doors and windows
And again rattle at the foundations of our lives

It’s the same drought wind that has been blowing forever
Forever keeping us apart no matter how much we lean into it
It keeps blowing us backwards to where we came from
It marks our passing back into life as it really is
Demanding and obligating with survival at its core
As dry as the land, as gritty as the sand

Bruised

I’m feeling a little bruised
a little rushed a little used
when you turn your whip like tongue on me
a little crushed and very confused

when you say that I’m not worth it
yet you keep on coming back
I decide that I’ll stick with it
and then you call me slack

yes I’m a sucker for punishment
my friends all tell me that
but really I’m a sucker for nourishment
I pray for it after every spat

I hate you and I love you
I tell you and relent
then you diss me and you kiss me
never knowing what each one meant

you don’t hit me or spit on me
you don’t go out with another
you just discard me like a soiled rag
whenever you think I’m a bother

then you take me back when it suits
knowing you'll always have the boots
to stand over me til I breakdown
to abuse me when I meltdown

I crave to be better, yet I'm a weak nag
always with one hand reaching for an escape bag
but I turn back from every open door
I pathetically keep coming back for more

then as I slide down every jamb
lamb to slaughter, slaughtered lamb
self esteem slides with me, to the floor we sag
and I gag and I gag and I gag

I see myself for what I have become
I know I'm not the only one
It isn't something helpful to know
others also powerless if they stay, powerless to go

Spicing it up

Basil had finally arrived
in Arizona dreaming
of repeating Krakow nights
with his saffron love,
Garam Masala.

After leaving sunny Paris
they had spent thyme 
watching Tuscan sunsets
before mulling spices
into a mural of flavour 
for adding some Aleppo pepper
to their long awaited reunion.

Laced with dill,
pickled appetisers set
a savouring mood 
for their evening

Cumin, coriander paprika
zatar and mustard seeds
ensured the main meal
was saucy, spicy and hot.

Sea salt, lemon grass 
fennel and sesame seeds
added potentcy to the salad

Nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla
heightened their senses
throughout dessert.

By the end of the meal
they were ravenous
for the after dinner mints.

Merril set this week’s dVerse prompt for we poets to spice things up using at least three of twenty-five listed herbs, spices, flavors, and spice combinations. For a bit of fun, I chose to cook up something that used them all.

Choice

this is a prosaic story about choice, choice is thirteen. choice is growing up in a fairly well to do neighbourhod. she has all the things the other options in the street enjoy, a neat house built by free willy (her dad), an allocated amount of pocket money in return for contributing to keeping the house ship shape (as her dad always says), three meals a day chosen by responsibility (her mum), a bike for moving around her immediate environs (which she has never extended) and an obligation called obligation (her pet black cat with a collar and tinkling bell to warn away the birds).

choice likes her life. it is predictable and secure and fun and she never has to worry about what to do next because there is always free willy, responsibility or obligation to let her know.

the other options in the street are pretty much the same. they go to school to learn how to behave away from home, they join clubs and play sport to understand how to be organised and they sleep comfortably tucked into warm beds with soft toys and billowing duvets and down filled pillows and electric blankets for the colder nights.

they all think waffles for breakfast are a delightful Sunday treat and one hour of tv each night is enough to keep them talking all the morning after. it never occurs to any of them life could be any different.

then one night something different happens anyway. choice feels it in a change of the wind, a new taste in the air, she feels it when she wakes at 2.36am to cramps and a bitter chill that makes her turn up her electric blanket. something is not right and she squirms and twists fitfully in bed for the rest of the night such that she wakes to a crisp bright sunny morning exhausted and grumpy for the first time - only to look out her window and see old mr routine next door being wheeled out to an ambulance never to be seen again.

the new neighbours come from some other place. they play a lot of music and always seem to be fixing and constructing in their backyard, their front yard and their house. choice can see an easel in the bay window opposite her room and a mess of paints and palettes scattered around. choice feels very uncomfortable about this. she knows proper people are always neat and tidy, careful and predictable. she and her family avoid these disruptive new people. free willy and responsibility say they don’t want choice introduced to anything or anyone who might be a bad influence.

at school choice sees the new boy from next door. he is in the next year and he also looks untidy, but whenever he is around choice can’t take her eyes off him. he moves differently, acts differently, speaks differently and when he turns her way it feels like he looks into her instead of at her. choice experiences uncertainty for the first time in her life. this boy unsettles her in ways she hasn’t felt before.

days go by, choice making no choices, just being choice, except she finds herself looking for the boy at every opportunity. find him she does like a a bee finds a flower. she finds those deep grey eyes swinging toward her as if he knows she is looking, as if he wants her to be looking.

without knowing it choice begins to find reasons to be outside in the street more often, obligation gets a leash, the bike gets ridden more than ever, a daily constitutional becomes a health necessity, chores start to be delayed or missed altogether, other options are no longer considered of worth.

then it happens and nothing is ever the same. he is waiting for her at the gate after school. would she mind if they walk home together? they are holding hands in minutes without knowing how or when, they are talking without pause, laughing and listening in wonder. at his house to say good bye he brushes her cheek with his lips. his hand lingers. she never wants him to let go and choice finalises the choice she doesn’t even know she is making. every future choice flows from there and then.

This week the dVerse prompt comes from Christopher Reilly. It is about choice. I chose to write a poem, but I couldn’t make it stick. It turned into prose, a short story and that happened, so here it is.

Good Things Only #16

OK, so it’s a beautiful morning. Cold, about 1 degree when I got up. Just a touch of frost. The grass is very green and I can’t see a cloud in a very blue and crisp winter sky. The air is sharp, crystal and the light breeze has a bite that penetrates. Nonetheless (I love that word), it is a beautiful morning with the stripped bare deciduous trees revealed in their all their steak naked glory and the evergreen indigenous trees contrastingly clad in their full, puffed up grey green winter coats. It is a beautiful morning. It is silent except for the gentle rustle of that surprisingly penetrating soft wind. Oh, and the always there hushed background tumbling sounds of water spilling and falling, running and spinning, turbulent and dashing over flat granite shelves into rocky hollows and against small stray boulders pushed along by the intermittent pressure waves of variable winter flows as they surge with irregularity down the creek. It is a beautiful morning.

Against the cold I am wearing my favourite jumper. There is no heater on, just the layers of clothes capped by this marvellously insulating and cosy thickness of wool are keeping me warm. Lovingly knitted by my loving wife, it only really gets a look at the world in winter. It is too warm most of the time for wear in other seasons. I think that is what makes it all the more special. The built in love and warmth reflect its specialised purpose.

It is big and old, enveloping, creamy and embossed. These days it is a little on the stretched, sagging and droopy side (giving it a 10 on the affection scale – which as everyone knows is the top score for a jumper). It sort of hangs around me rather than is worn by me. In fact it could be called an affectionate jumper. The first of its kind and a quality to be aspired to and emulated by all knitters who learn of it.

The crew neck now has a cute little “V” shape from under which diverse collars can peek. Otherwise the knitting has held its pattern for years, making it sort of tight and loose at the same time. I love the detail of its repetition. This jumper has character. Maybe it even is a character in its own right. Yes, i think that is right, it has become a character in the story of my life because I have an emotional attachment to this jumper. We belong together. And that’s the way I like it.

vicissitudes of life

From birth through growth to the time of decline
From decline to decay such a time is mine
For all that went before for all that went astray
For all that has been given and will be taken away

I see many patterns unfold around my life with the wisdom of hindsight
I see the brightness of knowing through latter years insight
As the past stretches out behind me the future road becomes short
The decisions I have made will shortly come to nought

I take one last chance to pass on the learning of my years 
One last chance to give advice to those to come if those to come have ears
For history is our greatest teacher in handling the vicissitudes of life
For human nature is our undoing when handling the inconvenient truths of advice

Secure your future with love and enough wealth is the best advice I can give
Working to this end gives hope which gives purpose to how you live
Start early and start young to earn a path to joy and be your very best
Don’t deviate from this path but keep it flexible and ensure rest

Loss may strike you without notice grief may rock your solid floor
Grow from your loss for better to turn haunting to past lore
Change will come unanticipated and shake you to your core
See change as opportunity to put a foot firmly in each door

When love comes your way hold it closely to your heart
If love lost should leave you reeling be proud that you took part
Know you have been loved and can love again because love is all around 
If one thing is known it is we all want love with time it may be found