wounded I crawl
to drag my wounds further through the dirt
dragging my belly along the ground
is none to low for me
in my hurt
I will scavenge to survive
but surviving will not a worthy life be
more eking out an existence
in the shadow of you
to pay my due
just to live in the shadow of you
as close as I can be
to skulk in a shadow world
as of the light
I am unworthy
for the harm that I was to cause
I regret and pay my price
but there is not enough in remorse
that I can forgive
my owned and destructive vice
there is no doubt in my mind
I will always be
the addict cripple
you tried to save when married
who left you ruined and harried
at least my surreptitious watching
over you
gives me purpose with which to see
I may prevent further harm
to you
as self destruction
gnaws away
at me
For this week’s dVerse challenge Ingrid has asked us to revisit a time in our lives when we have felt pain and come out of it on the other side.
This poem is a combination of close, shared personal stories. Feeling pain is as real as the sufferer perceives it to be. How someone comes out on the other side is relative and may not be consistent or sustainable.